The road not taken

我從小語文就沒有很好。

藉口當然很多,十三歲移民,害我中文不好,可是英文也不接近母語。另外就是一早認定自己是“理科”人,所以語文不好是理所當然的。一直到考大學,縱使總體成績算是不錯,可是英文還是剛好過關而已。

我記得我對英文科非常沒興趣。就算是大學考試那幾本小說也根本沒怎麼看過。可是我記得不是第8還是第9班,就有唸過這篇文。也不知道為什麼,這篇文一直留在我心裡面。

是Robert Frost的The road not taken。

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

沒走過的路。

我一生人走的路,都算是一條我從小給教育出來要走的路。有靠自己的,可是老實回想起來,絕對是有非常多的運氣在陪伴著。

突然兩年前我做了一個決定,那個決定是會讓我走一條比較不多人在我那時候處境會選擇走的路。做出這種決定當然是有一萬種因果/精神錯亂的原因,可是最主要還是因為自己不能回答自己給的一個問題。

“你人生最大成就就是在走這條路嗎?”

說真的,要回答自己是挺容易的(要騙自己真的不難),可是當我想到假如是我的小孩長大以後問我同一個問題,我就真的不能回答出一個讓我滿意的答案。

其實走一條不多人會走的路,最可怕不是不知道前面的路會變成怎樣。就算是挑了一條自己覺得多普遍,多穩,多少人認同的路,結果還是一樣變幻莫測。說真的,不管是那一條路,我們就是應該一步一步有責任,有認真的走。只是假如我們挑了我們覺得平穩的路,我們知道可以告訴自己,這條路是“大路”,前面一定是美好的,就算不好,錯了也不應怪自己。

這就是大部份人追求的感覺。

走一條不多人會走的路,最可怕是每一次遇到低潮就很容易怪自己,為什麼不挑另外一條路,為什麼要這麼笨,明明自己本來就有條件選擇走一條比較平坦安穩的路。沒發生的事永遠是最美好的,就好像是看著還沒拆開的禮物一樣,因為可以有無限的幻想。

每一個人個性都不一樣,希望走的路也不一樣。沒什麼好比較,走多人走的路也不見得不好,走少人走的路也不見得比較厲害,唯一重要的是,千萬不要違背自己讓自己走一條本來就不想走的路。

有條件,可以選擇,當然是好事,可是當條件跟選擇變成一種包袱,那就很可悲。

更重要的是,路到底有多少人走過跟自己有什麼關係呢?

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s